Its 4/20: high schooler stoner holiday galore. But before you get ready to puff, puff, pass, make sure youre stocked up on snacks that wont result in next day regrets (i.e. cheese balls and a pack of bologna I speak from experience). Having healthy grabs around will keep you from inhaling a box of Cheese-Its or polishing off a block of cheddar when the munchies hit. If you don’t have any of this shit on hand, it’s time to make a high trip to Whole Foodsnothing you haven’t done before, we’re sure.
A vital part of the betch food pyramid, hummus is a dippable and delicious (AND nutritious) snack perfect for dipping carrots or pita chips in when youre seeing sounds. Or you can eat it with a spoon and we won’t judge. Not only is that shit super high in nutrients, but itll also help curb the Im hungry feelings.
2. Tortilla Chips And Salsa
No one knows where the blind loyalty to chips and salsa came from, but for betches, this is a bitchin snack when were sober, drunk, high, waiting for our burritos, etc. Salsa literally has like, no calories, and lots of tortilla chipslike On The Border brandsare organic, baked, use sea salt, and are generally healthier than other alternatives.
3. Kale Chips
Youre dying for some Lays or Cape Cod chips, but kale chips will make you feel one with the Earth AND you wont gain 10 lbs. eating them. Either make them yourself by tossing kale with olive oil, salt, and parmesan and baking at 350F for about 15 minutes (get your hippie friend to make themshe absolutely has a recipe) or buy atYOU GUESSED ITWhole Foods.
4. Sweet Potato Fries
Fries are fucking amazing when youre drunk, high, or whatever. Sweet potato fries are better for you, bring that whole sweet and salty thing, and you can eat a shit ton of them (which probs isnt the best but whatever, its a holiday). Try ’em baked (LOL) which will be less calories and fat than having them fried.
5. Roasted Chickpeas
Totally poppable, full of protein, and not terrible for you, you can make roasted chickpeas yourself or buy them premade in the extra healthy aisle at Whole Foods (Trader Joe’s if you’re poor). The best part is, these can be made to taste like allllll your fav chipssalt and vinegar, classic, barbecue, pickleWTF ever.
6. Instant Oatmeal
Cereal somehow becomes extremely appealing and crave-able when youre hitting the jazz cabbage, and instant oatmeal is a perfect comfort food. So, heat that shit up with a little maple syrup, toasted almonds, and brown sugar and bamnot totally horrible snack to nom on. It only really requires a microwave and a few cups of water or milk, so no matter how high you are, you really cant fuck this up.
7. Beef Jerky
So much protein! Youll be reaching for salty goodness, so reach for something thatll help curb the munchies and taste amazing. With the plethora of flavors out there now (chili lime, spicy, classic, bbq, teriyaki), jerky is a great high protein snack thats totally okay to indulge in. Plus they tell them at 7-11 so you can kill two birds with one stone when your bf just needs to get his slushie and questionable pizza fix.
8. Toasted Pumpkin Seeds
You could inhale 1 cup of these and itd still be better than most of the shit you reach for whilst chasing rainbows. You can buy them pre-toasted or do it yourself by tossing cleaned raw seeds with butter, salt, and pepper and baking in a 300F oven for 40 minutes. Shit, you can even go sweet and do butter, cinnamon, and sugar. The possibilities are endless. Honestly, though, if you’re high out of your mind (as you should be on 4/20) we do NOT recommend carving out the inside of a pumpkin with a knife or any other sharp objects.
9. Apples With Peanut Butter
A little grammar school, yes, but these wont result in regret or water retention. Peanut butter is a go-to stoner snack and adding apples will help you slow your roll while youre dipping into it. But like, don’t eat too much peanut butter because then it kinda negates the whole “healthy” aspect.
10. Hemp-Infused Shit
You could also always head to the store and grab hemp-infused treats like Activated SuperFood Cereal; LARABAR Organic Bar with Hazelnut, Hemp, and Cacao; or even Organic Hemp Hearts to sprinkle on literally everything. None of that shit will get you high (bummer), but it is super healthy and, like, it has hemp so whatever. It’s festive.